Moms dream: dream of what her motherhood journey might be like, dream of what her children might grow up to become, dream of the laughter, joy, and family bonds.
Did you start motherhood with dreams like these?
I don’t know about you, but as the days turned into months that turned into years, those dreams of mine got a little lost in the daily shuffle. Somehow they faded in the struggles of sleepless nights, sibling rivalry, chauffeuring the kids around to various activities, planning for their future, and simply surviving the season. I kept thinking, “next season, our family will be able to …” but it seemed like it just never came to be.
Truth be told, I wasn’t the little girl who thought much about becoming a mother. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared to death! The pressure landed on me then and there and, in true Alicia fashion, I started researching! I have read so many parenting books over the years: new question/new struggle/new stage = new books to read! I interviewed many moms from my church to ask my questions. I sought Godly advice from the experts. I went to all the classes. I even asked a friend if I could hang out with her for a few days to see how she did life with a baby! You might call all that wisdom, but it really came from a place of fear: fear of messing up, fear of failing, fear of looking foolish. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t share your parenting struggles for fear of looking bad? Have you ever felt the pressure but was sure that you were the only one who felt completely overwhelmed by the task before you and everyone else seems to have it all together? Yeah, me too!
Sadly, in our Christian culture today, nobody talks about the empty space between our dreams and our fears as mothers. Surviving from first cup of coffee to last glass of wine seems to be the surrendered cultural norm, even in Christian households.
I began to recognize that empty space early into my motherhood journey in the constant rub of our personalities and the overwhelming, big emotions of one of my sons. And I came to the end of myself. I had read all the books, implemented every strategy I could find and nothing was helping: we continued to battle each other and enter into what I called a “negative emotional spiral” day after day. Ironically, he’s probably the one most like me and I did not like what the mirror was showing me. It was frightfully humbling but also completely defeating to know not only that I wasn’t helping him but that I was a cause of our “negative spirals”. As the parent, I knew I needed to figure out a way, but I didn’t know what to do. So in my humble frustration, I finally did what Christian moms are called to do – I prayed!
In the years after that first end-of-my-own-strength realization, I’ve had many more. And I as I continued to search for answers for each struggle, I recognized that my own heart was the root of why I continued to struggle with my kids. Like all mothers, asking God to change my heart was the right place to start, but it wasn’t easy to admit.
As I wallowed in the impact my own heart had in my parenting, I also became more and more aware of the external influences on myself and my children: the state of our current culture. Fear, depression, anxiety, hopelessness are all on the rise. Being a Christian in America is no longer the norm, even the historical Christian influence is waning. Our children already are or will be facing challenges that we never faced as growing up. As mothers, the pressure to raise them faithfully in this present day is a daunting task. But I believe God is calling us to raise up this next generation to be Daniels and Esthers of this cultural moment! But in the face of this, between carpool line and the next activity, juggling the attitudes and piles of laundry, motherhood had become less of a dream and more of a chore. Adding in the pressure of stuffing faith into the mix on top of everything else became just another item on my to-do list, another source of pressure.
My outlook began to change a few years ago when I connected with a coach to help me launch this blog. I knew what God wanted me to do but I couldn’t seem to do it and I felt stuck. This Christian coach was able to ask questions and pull things out of me that I didn’t know were there. Through many tears, she helped me “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). I was able to start clearly seeing the lies I had been believing in so many areas of my life and begin proactively replacing those thoughts with His Truth. And releasing those lies brought a renewed sense of peace that I had never known before!
In the process of using God’s Word to become free from the lies I had grown accustomed to believing, I quickly noticed an increase of confidence and joy that I had never experienced before – it overflowed into every area of my life! My blog launched but now no longer did the petty sibling disputes throw me for a tailspin. No longer did a disagreement with my husband trickle over in anger at my kids. I began recognizing that I was not a victim of others but could stand firm in what Christ says about me. I began to parent from a place of compassion and teaching instead of reacting in anger or managing behaviors through manipulation. My own emotional stability set a new course and new culture for my family as I helped my children manage their own emotions through a new lens.
As I continued replacing lies with God’s Word daily and with a coach cheering me on and teaching me along the way, I also began to see and hear lies all around me. And I wanted to do battle for my fellow believers and take down every stronghold because I felt how transformative this process had been for me in so many areas!
My life changed because I allowed someone to help me get unstuck in a singular area of my life and she helped me do the hard inner work to discover the lies I was believing. She equipped me to replace those lies with God’s Truth day in and day out. God’s Word is “living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword” (Hebrew 4:12) and that He promises that “His Word will never return void but accomplish what He set it out to do” (Isaiah 55:11). But I didn’t know how to wield His Word in a way that actually changed my life until I connected with a Christian coach!
If you are a Christian mom praying that your parenting was different or find yourself praying that you could stop the negative spiral with your kids, I want to help you!
I want to help you shift your family culture by filling your own heart with His Truth so that you can parent from a place of overflow; so that you can pour His Truth into your children’s lives, equipping them with courageous, bold, real-life faith in the face of today’s cultural pressures.
I am opening the doors today to my 1-on-1 coaching program where I teach you how to replace the lies that keep you stuck as a mom with God’s Truth and then show you how you can overflow His confidence, peace, and presence into your children’s lives!
Let’s chat! Book a free Discovery Call with me today!